You call me negative and preach
to me how that suits my thoughts, however, it isn’t who I am, is it? I’ve talked to you on numerous occasions and even at one point begged you to notice and actually get to know me. I’ve sent you excerpts before, I've sent you poems, all from the heart, all original, all sentimental, and they all sit
there in your presence unread.
When it comes to me, you don’t go
all the way. Do you know that it is okay? It is okay to fully show me how much you care, it is okay to completely spoil me.
To be overly interested in everything I do. As I you; you are selfish. Selfish
in every way; do you see the effort you lack in figuring out who you share your
time with and what you share your time on has not been eating away at you but at me? My cries for help go
unheard. You may try to listen but in the end it digresses. In the end there is
only a memory of a shot at progression. My cries for happiness, my cries for
support, and my cries for pushing me go unnoticed.
Easy going, is easy to be when
everything isn’t as bad, or when you have someone who consciously makes an
effort to try to understand you. That’s all anyone wants in this world is to be
understood. I did not want the burden of these thoughts on my heart. I can deal
with most situations. I cannot deal with someone right next to me not giving me
what I need or tending to me like I tend to them. I then shutdown; ever so
cautiously and become drained. Become an insomniac to pain. Become what I
preach about not being. Become introverted. Become someone I almost could say
is the other side of me. In my thoughts, deeply weighing certain things; the
heavy rambling and pouring of many different emotions, as if I had the gift of
rambling, and as if I had the gift of pouring out emotions. Chances are I’ll give
until I’m 100 percent depleted. Chances are I’ll be left to rot from regret and
anguish. Chances are I'll...
Chances are…