“I’m up to my ears in
unwritten words” – J.D Salinger
It is definitely difficult to go
deep down and produce something that makes sense and put it on the page, but I
must, I have to literally make myself bleed words of encouragement and intentionally
infect you with a different type of stimulation, one that you may not be used
to. Creating a voice that will perpetuate imaginative assimilation, or create some sort of euphoric mental escape is my
strange vision.
Assimilating the enveloping nature
of wild imagination sounds and feels more mentally pleasing and refreshing to
me instead of agreeing to digest more of what is and has already been fed to
me. My mind always gets away from me, as I think about things that seem
mentally impossible and socially unacceptable. However, if I just let it out,
discuss it with you, and empower you to think outside of your box, then that
can mean something and release something in you that needed to be released as
you guide your eyes through the words on this page. If only I could stop letting
these soul binding thoughts linger in my head and actually get them out exactly
the way I think about them I could be that much more fluid and effective. Articulating
exactly what you envision is what I consider the mark of genius, what I consider
orgasmic, tantalizing, and can always leave you in an all encompassing,
circumventing awe. I wish I could do that. As I think I must remind myself, “wisely
prune your own imagination,” and please write it down.
“You’ve got to stop
learning how to state the obvious.”- J.D. Salinger
Being myself needs to strategically breed an evolution of
unchaining in you; me being me I hope stirs up the inclination of release in
you. Don’t you see I have to do this for you? I have to be me for you, not just
for me; as I free myself that energy involuntarily frees you.
With that said, it is hard not to
state the obvious sometimes. Read this, watch this, eat this, meditate about
this, instructions on top of obvious instructions. When people start listening
to you it is humbling and a grave responsibility. It sort of causes a certain
type of dependency. For conversational purposes and less more so for instructional
purposes, I don’t want you to depend on me I want you to depend on you and my words
only to spark what you have had in you all along.
Why don’t you see what you have
in you? Or do you? Have you yet? Can you see it? I want to help spark that tiny
little flick of light in you, just a flick, it is indeed there; a miniscule gleam
of some sort. That is all you really need before that little light inside of
you consumes you; engulfs you. Become aware of certain dependence on external
things and how quickly you react to the external things in your life, maybe it
is your circumstances, your job, or maybe a relationship – how quickly you
react emotionally and then physically to these things.
Without that dependence you will
be able to soar with or without other people’s words, other people’s encouragement,
and other people’s thoughts. Figure out things for yourself, learn on your own
and develop an all encompassing originality about yourself. This will give you
the freedom to make you discover deeper ways to think and exist; you will not
then speak the obvious, you won’t know how to. Cleverness and uniqueness
instead will come natural to you; a wiser mind indeed.
“Each of us faces
life with an undeveloped psyche.” – U.S. Andersen
Talking to myself raises my level
of consciousness. What makes what? Who makes who? Why do someone else’s
thoughts of you create or solidify the measure of who you are or the measure of
what you are? Why don’t your own thoughts create that? Why don’t you measure
you? This reminds me of another quote, “knowledge illuminates.”
Our minds are undeveloped? What
does that mean? I can tell you something towards that. It may not be the answer
for you but I can tell you something. The social beliefs that are engrained in
our minds, how you are brought into this world, how your parents raise you, and
how you are treated as an adult, are a start. There are many layers as to why
this is, but negative thinking, emotionally thinking, linear thinking, contributes
to this phenomena.
Lately I do not really know how
to feel, and the more you are aware of who you are the more you see certain
inconsistencies and imperfections. It is sort of confusing and headache
inducing. When I come to the understanding, however, that I really am not using
my mind to its fullest potential and I am just letting my ego, emotions, and external
stimuli guide me through my life I see that I could be maximizing so much more
out of the world. You sort of have to let your mind go where it wants to go to
develop it.
“To be self-conscious
is to be fearful and restricted. "– U.S. Andersen
Being considerate of your ego and having a sense of self will bind you in fear and tension during the simplest of tasks. Cringing the thought of being relaxed and loosely moving forward as you would if you did not think about your "I" so much is very apparent in you, in all of us, and even in the tiniest of creatures:
The centipede was happy quite
Until a toad in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg goes after which?”
That worked her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to run.
- Mrs. Edward Craster
Why do we care so much about what people think about us or say to us, which in turn develops doubt and a weak mind, feeble character, and an unstable existence. Why are we so self- conscious and fear the thought of truly acting and being ourselves?
The point of it all is this: in
all that you cringe, you must have courage.
Have the courage to imagine. Have
the courage to unlearn what you’ve been taught or keep what you have learned
and explore other things. Have the courage to write the unwritten, be unique, explore
and develop your psyche, and the courage to not be so self-conscious. Hone your
craft as well, if the inconsistency of your output stems from the fact that you
have no real knowledge of your craft. This is easy to fix. Be patient with
yourself and slowly and surely start collecting knowledge on your craft.
Step boldly, do it anyway, and always
take this quote with you, “the individual performing under universal will is
irresistible, doing something that must be done.”