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Sunday, December 28, 2014

Insanity



She darts to the bathroom knocking everything down in her way. By everything it’s meant – she knocks down pictures, guests that happen to stop by for her good friend for a brief moment and anything that can’t withstand the inertia of high velocity wind or the trembling and rumbling effect of a heavy foot. The bathroom is right around the corner from the room that she is in and she leaps into it like the ground she is dashing on is covered with lava, “FINALLY, the bathroom!” She gets to the bathroom, annoyingly flips the light switch on, unapologetically swings the door wide open, and leaves it open - no time to close it. She violently tosses the magazine full of cannabis that is lying on top of the toilet seat cover on the floor, rushes to get her belt off, and panics to get her pants down. Her right hand is in charge of making sure she gets her pants all the way down while her left hand cares more about making sure the toilet seat cover is up. Her whole body is aching and squirming at this point. There is even a little bit of urine starting to slowly streamline down her thigh like a tear you finally have to let go after fighting it back for so long. She hesitates no longer, swivels around, deeply exhales, and plops down on the toilet – using time and space breaking speeds. She lets out a long and alleviating sigh and the tension in her shoulders abates. Her entire body relaxes – from her posture to her toes; she slumps over in satisfaction, “Ahhhhhhhhh, yeeesss.”

She finishes pissing and looks around for some toilet paper. She looks and looks and looks…and looks, “Wow, there's no toilet paper, again." She smacks her lips with disgust and tries to find the next best thing to use. Her eyes scour the bathroom for something, anything. She comes across the trash can. She looks in the trash, inhales, and sinks into what almost feels like defeat, “this can’t be my last option, please, no.” She takes a beat and then grabs what looks like tissue that someone definitely tried to get every last bit of their nose on. She looks at herself in the mirror, scrunches her nose grotesquely, chuckles at her life in the moment, and proceeds. She stares at the piece of tissue, shakes her head very slowly, closes her eyes in shame, and wipes herself with this thing she found out of the trash. Too proud to drip dry – she’d rather trash dig. She sticks her tongue out, cringes, gets dry, throws it back in the trash, flushes the toilet, and washes her hands. While washing her hands she glances at herself one more time in the mirror, feeling somewhat proud because it's over and she made a way for herself, but weird because that just happened, and thinks, “They’re going to know I couldn’t have wiped myself. They’re going to wonder how I did or if I did. They’re going to know and wonder because they never have tissue here.”

And it repeats.

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